Rules For Pleasing Him

The rules are very clear, and yet
I failed the test somehow
You see, I never knew the rules
For pleasing him till now

And though it does not help me, I
Feel I must let you know
In case it means nearly as much
To you as it did to me

Remember he wants only gifts
From strangers in a crowd
Others must see he’s loved so he
Can make onlookers proud

But try not to embarrass him
Though he says it is love he needs,
Compliments in public only
Make him ill at ease

Do not grow confident of him
His kindness will be recanted
Your trust is liable to look as if
You are taking him for granted

It must be clear that you would be
Shocked if he would respond
The element of great surprise
Is something of which he is fond

No hint of closeness; friendship
Must be given without strings
Like expecting friendship coming
Back from him, those sorts of things

And you must know just when to find
Him in a giving mood
When others are around to see
His amiable attitude

Now you may think I assume too much
Or that I am being unfair
But I assure you I was only
Hurt because I care

So keep your distance; smile in a crowd
He’ll consider your love a whim
You won’t be too hurt if you understand
The rules for pleasing him
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Heart Thoughts Index
This House

This house was a dream that we had to be free of confinement
For gardens, to entertain friends and to feel we belong
But this house has become a strange place for us that, in time, meant
To unleash all its secrets revealing so much that was wrong

Because of the lies we were told by those here before us
We feel as though everything still bears reflections of them
We knew we had made a mistake, that deaf ears would ignore us
And that we would never feel truly happy again

Each sight, smell and sound unfamiliar brings back the same sorrow
Is something else wrong that we cannot fix or afford?
We’ve already spent all we owned and continue to borrow
Please don’t let there be any more that is wrong, we implore

The workers, they come and they go and each scene is repeated
The costs are so high and each time the same troubles return
We wait for the verdict, more often than not we feel cheated
And spend twice as much as every dollar we earn

If you long to live in your own little home, don’t learn too late
If you are not wealthy, or you cannot build and repair
Don’t dream a dream you cannot afford, lest your own fate
Transforms your dreams into this living nightmare
Who I Am

What I long to share is who I am
I cannot render these two things apart
My whole identity is but a sham
If no one reads or hears what’s in my heart

Words that tell of things I hold most dear
Written, spoken  fill an inner need
Fallen deaf on ears that will not hear
And tossed aside by those who would not read

The pain becomes too hard for me to bear
I hold such faith in what I have to say
For it is not just words I cannot share
If they’re rejected, I am tossed away

I have wisdom I so long to share
I could give you that and so much more
But if it seems that no one seems to care
I have nothing else worth living for
       
When I lost my dreams
It felt as if I had lost a human soul
And the wounds will not heal with time
For the soul that I lost was mine