More Filk Songs By Others
All Those on this page are by Pippin
Death Eaters in Disguise
(from GoF, Chap. 9)
(
To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky)

The Death Eaters were marching on a warm and cloudy night
We never were arrested we escaped the prisoner's plight
So Muggleborn be wary cause the enemy is nigh
Or we might turn you upside down and float you in the sky
Yip-i-ya-a, Yip-i-ya-o, Death Eaters in disguise
And as my schoolmates rushed on by I called on them by name
If you want to save your friends from us, you'd best get out of range
So keep that bushy head down as from us you must fly
Or you'll be with the Robert’s a-floating in the sky.
Yip-i-ya-a, Yip-i-ya-o, Death Eaters in disguise
The Ministry is busy, Malfoys have them in a sweat
They're working hard to catch our lot, but they ain't caught us yet
When all at once the Dark Mark like a green and starry skull
Appeared amidst the ragged skies and terrified us all
Yip-i-ya-a, Yip-i-ya-o, Death Eaters in disguise
The tents were still on fire as I back to camp did steal
Could You Know Who have made a comeback, could it all be real?
A bolt of fear went through us and it stilled our drunken cries
We're You Know Who supporters, but we hid behind our lies
Yip-i-ya-a, Yip-i-ya-o, Death Eaters in disguise.
If You'd Just Let Me Explain...
(from Chap. 19, PoA)
(
To the tune: If I Only Had a Brain, from The Wizard of Oz)
THE SCENE: The Shrieking Shack. Present: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Scabbers, Lupin, Black, Snape and Crookshanks

SIRIUS
I was not the secret keeper, I pawned it off on Peter
For which I am to blame
I thought he could be trusted but instead he got me busted
If you'd just let me explain.
I admit I am compulsive, obsessive and impulsive,
And diagnosed insane
Though you think I'm a bad guy, I am innocent, not that guy
If you'd just let me explain.

Oh I, can tell you why, I broke Ron's leg in two
And cut up his curtains with a knife, I only wanted Pettigrew
I would not be just a nothin', a fugitive stud muffin,
My heart all full of pain.
Life would be a ding a derry, I'd be taking care of Harry
If you'd just let me explain.

LUPIN
Oh, I couldn't be a lone wolf
A go-it-on-your-own wolf
My sanity to preserve.
Led my friends to Animagic
Risking outcomes worse than tragic
Guess we had a lot of nerve.
I'm afraid there's no denyin' to Dumble I've been lyin'
My job I don't deserve
But I could have told the truth, all about my misspent youth,
If I'd only had the nerve

SIRIUS and LUPIN
So we implore you, Snape,
Don't let this dirty rat escape
He's Peter Pettigrew
Don't let him flee to You Know Who

SNAPE
When Neville in fine fettle, destroys another kettle,
I just tear him apart.
You'd be over-presumin' that I could be kind-a human
If I only had a heart.
If I'm tender or I'm gentle- they'll think that I've gone mental
It's better not to start
It's The Kiss for Black and Lupin
'Cause these children they've been dupin'
I don't buy their crazy story
And it's time I had some glory
And the Merlin decoration I deserve

SIRIUS: Then I won't get to explain...
HARRY: And I'll never get a home...
HERMIONE: If he only had a heart...
SIRIUS: A brain...
SNAPE: What nerve!

HERMIONE, HARRY and Ron disarm SNAPE and knock him out.
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Humor Index
All The DADA Teachers
(
To the tune of Eleanor Rigby)

Professor Quirrell
Wearing a face that he hid in a purple chapeau
How could we know
Hearing him stutter
Who would have guessed that his quest was to rip off the Stone
He's not alone…

All the DADA teachers
Where do they all come from
All the DADA teachers
They never last too long

Gilderoy Lockhart
Tended to shirk at the work but he dressed with a flair
Setting his hair
Look at him posing
He'd have left Ginny to die in the basilisk's lair
What did he care

Hopeless Hogwarts teachers
Where do they all come from
Hopeless Hogwarts teachers
Where do they all belong

Remus J Lupin
Drove a Dementor away when it came through the door
Gave it what-for
Gentle and caring
Always supportive except when lycanthropy hit
He had to quit

Ah! What a sad and lonely creature!
Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher

Alastor Moody
Locked in a trunk while his job was usurped by a punk
Even the clunk!
Barty was smirking
Menacing Snape in the night knowing Harry was there
Setting a snare

All the phony teachers
Where do they all come from
Phony Hogwarts teachers
In Azkaban belong

Fleur Delacour
One of her sex
Is in line for the job that is hexed
She could be next
Old Arabella
It might be she, I agree, but I don't think it can,
Her name won't scan

Three more DADA teachers
Where will they all come from?
Three more DADA teachers
Till I can end this song..
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